What Am I Waiting For?

2-21-15

A few nights ago I was invited to learn about a new workshop that was focusing on creating a circle that supports artists.  I loved that idea.  Because certainly with writing, it can feel very lonely out there.  As part of the conversation, she had us answer a few questions for ourselves.  The one that struck me this morning was:  “Where are you still hiding?”

At first I couldn’t think of anything, since I was feeling very brave in my artistic progress.  But as I’ve learned what is my first response, is not necessarily my last response.  And so this morning what came to me was….

Director.

Stepping into Director. That was what I wasn’t quite ready to take on. That was the truth I was afraid to accept. Full responsibility for the work. Nowhere to hide.

I wrote these pieces.  So I am willing to claim them.  I wanted to act in it – reclaim my spotlight.  But I was looking for someone who would direct it.  Who would, in essence, take the responsibility for making it come to life.  I still wanted to hand it over to someone else.

But this morning I am admitting that I see this performance piece in a certain way.  I have a vision for it.  Not all the answers, but some very strong impressions:  words, dance, music.  An ensemble and monologues.

I know the steps.  I’ve done it before.  And what I don’t know, I will figure out.

And what I was seeking in the workshop – the opportunity to collaborate, the synergy of the creative process – it comes in doing the work.  There are no more excuses.  No place to hide at ‘being the the artist.’  This morning what came thru so loud and clear, ‘just do the work!

Begin.

 

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