Sweet Discernment

Call backs yesterday.  Six beautiful actresses showed up and again blew me away with their passion and commitment.  The challenge becomes who to select:  who will bring the most courage, exploration, sense of play to the project.  Who can bring a range of emotions, characters, risk to this work.

Who is flexible  and fluid enough to grow and shape this project with me.  Because I discovered yesterday, as I had so suspected, that the writings I created were the ‘skeleton’ of this project.  That with every member of the team, another layer is added, the vision expands a little differently.  Not that I don’t know where we are headed, but as they say, I am the map – but together we will discover the territory.

The other thing I am discovering is the difference between what is ‘mine’ and what is someone else’s influence.  As I think about the project, where it is set, what it is about, I realize there are very subtle influences in there that are not necessarily me.  But I didn’t notice that until I stumbled upon the thing that was mine – truly mine.  It was like it fell into place perfectly.  I could feel it in my body.  yes!  yes!  This is what it means to me, this is what this is really about – to me.

Hard to understand.  The closest analogy is tuning a guitar, and you tune and you tune and you get closer and closer.  And then – there – that last twist.  That’s it – that is in tune – it rings true.

abu-dhabi-liwa-desert-sands_29506_600x450Of course, the challenge is that I don’t always know, until I feel the alternative and I can discern the difference.  It is as though I have gone into the desert and am listening to how the sands shift.  All I can say is when I have it, I know it.  And when I don’t – I don’t.  It is only in the process of trying, and fitting, and throwing away, and tossing it all up in the air, and turning it upside down to see what shakes out – And hoping the sweet truth will make herself known.

To this process, this delicious discovery and revelation.  This sheer joy of the creative process.

Every day I am grateful to be on this path.



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