Big (HUGE) Goal: Pick a theater, set a date
Yesterday Monday 4-13, I woke up with this huge knot in my belly. This was the day, I’d been telling myself all weekend – the day when I would start making the calls to rent a theater. This was the day when this would go from dream to reality.
But I’d gone from feeling excited about that Friday afternoon after speaking with a friend to anxiety ridden come Monday morning.
I guess it’s just going to be like that. A roller coaster of emotions. One day feeling full and confident and the next, doubtful and afraid. But this was a big one. This was THE commitment. Up to this point it had been talk and writings and shadings, passionate yes, but still all talk. But this was it. This was the jumping off the cliff. This was overcoming the fear. This would make it real.
And my goodness how I resisted. I worked on other projects. I took a walk, which did help a bit. I ate breakfast and lunch and a snack. I went out to see how my husband was doing, how my daughter was doing. For a time I even considered postponing it until the next day, when maybe I’d feel a little braver.
But I had committed to doing it this day. Even if I took one tiny step, one little lift of my foot in this direction, it was important that I do it this day. Then finally at 4:10, I did. I pulled out my list of theaters, some on the west side, some in the valley, and I began to call.
I have to confess I was relieved that they were closed for the day, or that no one answered the phone. It was a little safer to send the email. But then, just as I was wrapping up for the day, the phone rang. It was the Two Roads Theater calling me back.
Yes – they had a beautiful little theater available in the Fall. Yes, they had 5,000 followers and a window outside where I could put my posters. Yes, I was welcome to come visit it and here was the contact information.
And all of a sudden, I wasn’t free falling anymore. I was on solid ground, asking questions, trying to get a sense of the space and whether it would be a good fit. The price was reasonable, it was a real possibility. I’d make a date to go visit.
A big sigh of relief, the knot in my stomach finally easing. I had taken a huge step and we were on our way.