Two steps forward – one step back
Last week, I met with my dear friend, Michele Cardella, who so generously offered to support me in my fundraising efforts. We met at the Santa Monica Public Library to research different organizations that might be interested in funding this project. It was quite informative – what I could learn about who donated monies, to what causes, and in what amounts.
However, by the time we were done, and given the reality of my current time line, it looked like applying to these foundations for a grant was not really in the cards – at least not at this point: I still had not heard back from LAWTP regarding working under their non-profit umbrella and most foundations needed anywhere from 3 months to a year to review grants. And my clock was ticking. That is funny as I remember when I rented the theater I thought I had all this time…
So instead we decided to focus on a crowd funder.
I listened to her words, wrote down notes. But I can tell you – very little was sinking in. Because I got scared. In that moment of talking about who I would ask to carry the flag out into the world on behalf of this work, which agencies I might approach about support, who I would ask for money – all of a sudden those voices were back. I could feel myself pulling back, the words flowing by like so many ocean waves. And over the course of the next couple of days, I witnessed old patterns raise their heads – not eating well, watching too much television, irritable… But rather than berate myself, I gave myself the time to process, to bring the shift this would require into my body. I have learned somethings after all.
I wrote in my morning pages, I danced, I prayed for faith to keep on doing it, even when I got scared. And within a couple of days, things did indeed shift. I was able to start the planning process, making lists, researching crowd funding companies, committing to dates and milestones.
I forgot to mention that we also came up with some really wonderful ideas as well. Ideas that got me excited and energized. But those I’ll roll out a little bit later.