Every moment is a choice. The choice to stay or go. To say yes, to say no. The choice to move forward, or hold back. To go with the flow, or hold your own. And with each choice, you move down your path just a little bit further.
The other day I was celebrating a new partnership when I was struck by a realization. It was because of absolutely every single choice that I ever made that I had come to this point. So even though each time I might have agonized over the ‘right decision,’ or the ‘wrong choice,’ it was all perfect. It was because of those choices, those forks in the road, that I found myself in this perfect place in time.
So, in honor of making the ‘tough choices,’ I wrote this piece:
5 minutes on the collapse of the universe. Imploding, exploding, stars colliding. People falling off the edge of the giant platter we call earth.
The dam bursts, the volcano explodes, the earth trembles, the wind howls, the glass breaks, the doors fly off their hinges.
And all around me the world collapses if I say NO. If I say NO.
Into a small white room they have me stand. With no windows, no furniture, and the light fixtures are welded to the walls. Thru the speaker I hear the voice as it says,
‘Go ahead. Say it please. Say the word.’
Has it come to this? Standing in a white room, where nothing can explode, no one can hate me, cry out in betrayal, fall upon a sword, if I say the word.
I feel the trembling in my chest, the pounding of my heart, my knees soften, and I feel rather nauseous.
A bit more impatient, the voice repeats.
‘Say it please. Say the word.’
And so, I clench my fists, close my eyes, take a deep breath, and let the word slide off my tongue as I exhale.
And nothing happens.