I Choose

Snapshot – 3/28/2020

What if I allowed myself to just BE?  To let go of all the doing, the grocery store runs, the incessant hand washing, the frantically checking of the numbers, growing, faster and faster.  Click. Click. Click.

How delicious it would be to slowly roll my shoulders, my neck.  To let that worry and tightness ease out like water from a sponge. To let go of the fears and panic about what tomorrow might or might not bring.

How decadent it would be to read a book, sit in the sunshine, watch that sparrow take his bath.  I’d notice the bees in the lavender, the cat rubbing against my knee, I’d take a deep rich breath, pulling all this sweetness and peace into me.  

Ah, to rest for a while in this place of being. To snuggle into the warmth on my skin, inhale the scent of orange blossoms, admire the burst of color as spring moves into her full glory.  

Even as the world twists and turns in fear and agony, like a swarm of angry hornets, this too is happening.

In this moment, this garden, these colors, that sunshine, is my reality.  I can choose to be here, to let this be how I feel right now.  If I knew nothing else, this would be my reality.

It seems rather like the story of the blind men and the elephant.  In the big picture that is the world right now, I can choose what I pay attention to.  The sweet smells, the birds greeting each other at dawn, the plants leafing out in green and remember that this, too, is happening, in counterpoint.  This, too, is a reality.

So as my fingers hover over the keyboard to type in my search, I can choose.  I can choose to open the door to chaos and fear and panic.  Letting that overwhelm me, shorten my breath, hurt my heart, leaving me in a state of scarcity and pain.  

Or, knowing at this point what I must do to stay safe and healthy, choose to take up my cup of coffee, sit down on the back steps with my cat, take a great big deep breath, and rest in this state of being.

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